I was raised by a Zen Buddhist father and an eclectically spiritual mother. Meditation (and yoga) was something I began practicing around the age of 14. I don’t believe meditation needs to be a spiritual practice—it can absolutely be a secular activity—and I don’t think it conflicts with any religion or spiritual tradition. For me, it has served both spiritual and secular purposes.

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In graduate school, I wrote my senior capstone essay on the book Mindfulness and Psychotherapy by Christopher K. Germer, Ronald Siegel, and Paul Fulton. Then, and still today, I see significant overlap between Buddhist theories and practices (such as meditation, mindfulness, and breathwork) and psychological work. Over the years, I have explored many different spiritual perspectives, yet I have circled back to where I began as a young girl: non-denominational Buddhism as a framework for my own growth and healing. This most clearly shows up in my work as a therapist through the practice of non-judgment. Even when I encounter something frightening, challenging, or vastly different from myself, I strive to practice non-judgment.

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This perspective also shapes how I approach meditation. Beyond self-regulation, curious observation, tuning into bodily sensations, focusing on breath, and metacognition, one of the main goals is practicing non-judgment toward myself and others—to truly lean into understanding and compassion.

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I would not consider myself an expert in meditation, though I do have a fair amount of experience. I think the word practice is important to remember: meditation is something you engage with across your entire life. Over the years, I’ve learned a few things:

• To truly experience the benefits of meditation, it takes time— Research suggests that daily meditation—even just 10–15 minutes—can lead to noticeable emotional and cognitive benefits within about 8 weeks, with more profound stress-related changes often emerging after three to six months of consistent practice. For example, studies have shown reductions in cortisol (a stress hormone), improvements in mood and memory, and even structural changes in the brain such as a smaller amygdala (linked to stress) and a larger hippocampus (linked to learning and memory).

• My personal goal is to meditate 5 minutes upon waking up and 5 minutes before going to sleep. I try to do longer meditations (20–60 minutes) at least once a week.

• For beginners, I suggest daily short meditations rather than long weekly ones.​

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There are countless types of meditation: guided, visual, sensory-oriented, internally reflective, externally focused, loving-kindness, and more. One mistake I often see is people beginning with a very common form of meditation:

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Focus on your breath. Inhale and exhale. Clear your mind. If a thought comes in, label it “thought” and return to your breath.

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Many people find themselves “unsuccessful” with this approach, because they can’t clear their mind. They become frustrated and give up. For some, that method may be a good starting point. However, for people with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, ADHD, autism, or trauma, it can be too challenging or even triggering. Quieting the mind is a skill that takes significant practice, and sometimes silence doesn’t feel safe. Instead of aiming for quiet, think of it as finding a sense of control within your mind. Maybe you need music, structure, or focused activity rather than stillness.

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Suggestions for Exploring Meditation

• Explore: read, listen to podcasts, or watch videos about different types of meditation. Try different methods more than once. Vary the conditions—music or silence, walking or sitting, lying down or standing.

• Listen to ambient or nature sounds, and imagine yourself in a safe or relaxing space.

• Meditate with your favorite music—it doesn’t have to be “relaxing” music. Pop, metal, Avant Garde jazz, show tunes, or anything else can work. Sit still with your eyes closed or with a relaxed gaze, breathe, and let yourself tune into the music.

• Try moving meditation: walking, stretching, dancing, or exercising.

• Use guided meditations and be selective. Find a voice and style that feel comfortable. Explore YouTube or attend an in-person meditation group. Consider a meditation coach or an experienced mentor.

• Incorporate your passions or fandoms. Keep the structure of meditation—sit with your back straight, close your eyes, breathe—while allowing your mind to wander through your special interest. When other thoughts arise (e.g., worry or impatience), acknowledge them as if nodding at someone passing in a hallway, then return to your focus.

Metacognition

Oxford Languages defines metacognition as:
“Awareness and understanding of one’s own thought processes.”

A large part of meditation and mindfulness involves metacognition: observing and understanding your own thoughts and patterns. When sitting in meditation, it is okay to think. The goal is to be curious and observant rather than reactive.

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Example thought: “I can’t believe Jim said that to me at work!”

• Observation: “I’m still upset about that.”

• Notice body sensations: heart rate speeding up, breath becoming shallow, shoulders tensing.

• Explore further: “Why is this still upsetting me?” Maybe it connects to ego, old hurt, shame, or trauma.

• Allow curiosity. Notice whether the emotion shifts, softens, or intensifies. If it becomes overwhelming, intentionally redirect to something grounding, like a safe memory, physical sensations, or music.

Example thought: “I’m so bored. I’m not good at this!”

• Observation: “This is hard for me.” Notice body: curved back, clenched jaw. Adjust posture, release tension.

• Reflect: “I don’t want to do this, but I know it’s good for me.”

• Simply notice the emotions and body sensations without judgment. Keep returning to observation—of thoughts, feelings, breath, and body.

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Why Focus on Breath?

Research shows intentional focus on the breath, the higher regions of the brain—particularly the frontal lobes and prefrontal cortex—become engaged. These areas support attention, emotional regulation, decision-making, and executive control. In contrast, breathing without focus or attention is guided by the brainstem, which manages essential survival functions such as heartbeat, respiration, and arousal. By bringing gentle awareness to breathing, the shift moves the body and mind from automatic survival patterns toward a state of greater balance, calm, and mindful presence.

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You don’t need to breathe deeply or slowly, or even practice belly breathing. Simply bringing awareness to your natural breath is enough.

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There are countless breathing exercises that can be calming, healing, or even energizing.